The Agony Of Love


Lets face it…

We all want love.

We all want to be in a healthy relationship that works.

Yet so many people are having a hard time finding it.

Very often when I am approached by female clients, they always tend to ask me the same questions:

A. Why is it so hard to find a good man?

B. Why is my boyfriend or husband not interested in me any more?

It can be painful for many women to have to deal with these issues.

One of my clients who will remain anonymous shared with me a letter she wrote to her ex boyfriend. I wanted to post it here to share with you so that you can experience her pain through her eyes.

Dear My Love,

How have you been? I miss you so much already, but I have made a promise, that I will never get back with you again. I’m so sorry we had to end like this.

Hopefully someday you’ll start to think with your heart instead of your brain. Someday you’ll understand why I loved you so much. I loved you because I trusted you with everything. The most important thing I trusted you the most with was my heart. Sad to say, I soon found out taking care of my heart wasn’t on your priority list. I soon became an annoyance and a parasite.

I loved you so much I put all negative thoughts away. I pushed away everything that made me happy and decided whatever makes you happy will make me happy. That was what I want, to make you happy, but I was so busy trying to make you happy I didn’t realize I wasn’t happy. Then when I did I’d cry about it, and when I cried, you got mad. Why? Who knows why? Maybe because you felt guilty for not wiping or keeping those tears away like you’ve promised me in the beginning.

I’m sure you weren’t lying when you told me you wouldn’t hurt me or let me cry, also that you’d never call me names or yell at me. But the sad truth came out. I should’ve seen it coming after you told me you had second thoughts. I’ve seen this happen in so many relationships, the guy/girl gets tired of the other significant and uses anger to try and push the other person away. The truth hurts, and this is what I’ve come to find at the doorstep to your heart. You’re so tired of me, everything I do or say annoys you. I’m sure I didn’t make your life miserable like you said; I just made it hard for you to move on like you want to.

The reason why it was so hard for me was because I thought I Love You. I know my potentials, I know what I want to do with my life, I know what I want and need. Needless to say, you, on the other hand don’t. But don’t blame me because you mislead me from the beginning.

I want my parents and family to live in a better place before I move on to my family. I want to be a good wife to my honest and loving husband. I want to have kids and make sure they grow up to be caring and respectful. All I need in my life is my family and their love. Sure a successful education will help lead to an even happier family. That is why I’m still going to school, I haven’t given up on anything. Your request for me to grow up has been happening the moment I came out of my mother. I’m growing and learning every day and more than one or two things. Today I learned you are one selfish douchebag who needs to do a lot of growing and catching up to do. Here’s one thing for you to learn; you’re never getting this back ever again. The last time I checked I’ve gone to more places than you and have explored more than you probably ever will and I’m looking forward for more adventurous trips to come. I know I’m not dumb; I just fall in love easily. Once I fall in love, I get blinded by love. Once more, believing myself is all I ever do. I have doubts sometime, but they’re not as big as yours. I am more courageous than you’ll ever be. My almost lover, if you really love and care about me you would’ve saw all this potential. But you were too busy concentrating on yourself, the only thing you saw in me was always nothing.

I can be so much more if you had more support, hope and trust in me. I’m not like a test; you can’t study last minute and ace it. I’m more like education, you have to invest time for it, and get a degree for every field.

I cry because I have something called a “heart” and “feelings”. About me feeling sorry for myself; the only sorrow I feel is for you. Sorry you will never have the love I had for you.

But because of one’s selfishness, the one that loved you most will be hurt and if this was more than a relationship to you, then regret will be the only feeling you feel after you experience what you thought would make your life better. I understand we are not married, that is why I’m glad I’m letting you go now. So you can learn from your mistake and hopefully one day you’ll return to realize what it is you really want and need. I know I took longer than I should have letting you go, but doing it is actually what counts. Hopefully you will learn to make your life better.

As for me, with or without you my life is already good. Thank you for the broken heart, I’ve learned a lot, hopefully you did too. You were great when you were, but it’s time for me to find somebody who’ll find me to be an angel sent from above instead of a parasite that bugs him.

You were special to me but now I’m going to go find someone else who actually wants to be my someone special. I know you’re “hella” mad right now, but one day you’ll be “hella” sad, and pretty soon I’ll be “hella” happy.

Good-Bye

Hope to see you around.

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